There are days when I just feel completely exposed, bare in my weakness.

And I feel a lot. And I misunderstand so much. And almost everything seems like a direct stab to whatever bodily function was previously holding back my tears from becoming a never-ending stream.

It's the furthest thing from pretty and so close to disturbing and it's just... not fun for anyone.

But it's days like today where I find that I have come to the end of myself.

The end of everything I thought that I was somehow holding together. The end of being the friend that is able to let other friends voice their dilemma in the conversation. The end of being a decent coworker and a steady-minded assistant. The end of being able to have quiet time with Jesus because it's suddenly filled with boisterous sobbing and built-up rage. The end of feeling like I have anything going for me in life.

But I'm just blown away.

Blown away by God's faithfulness at every awful moment to see me as flawless like His Son. Blown away by His gentleness and how it trumps anger. Blown away by His words that are more proficient and purposeful than the dissatisfaction that eats at my ears. Blown away by how strong His love is, how unmovable it tests out to be in my inconsistency.

There is no one like God.

And though days like these seem unforgiving to us, they aren't to God. His love covers a multitude of sin and not only sin, but inevitable freak moments. And in those moments, God stays the same. He doesn't change His strategy of discipline or love because He doesn't have to. He has always been aware of who He is and who His children are in relation to Him.

His love is what reconciles us back to Him, it's not anything that we could do in the first place. For in all of our days of understanding and superb scheduling and excellent self-discipline, it will still not be enough to satisfy.